The sad part is that you will never read this. We have had an amazing few years, where you where the center of my world and still are. Our relationship has been though many battles that tore us apart, but in the end of the day our love was strong and conquered everything. I like to think i am a strong person, that can handle a lot. I realized that because i thought i was so strong, i kept a lot in which is tearing me apart. I will never tell you how much you have hurt me, because i know that is not what you need. The images for her, and all the others hunt me in my dreams. Even when i was there, you didn’t protect me until later. The truth is i know more than what you told me, but i kept it in. I asked you not to lie to me, or hide things for me. The truth will always come out not matter how hard you try and bury it. I will never get over why i wasn’t good enough to be your only one. Time after time i tried to show you to pick me, and not choose other girls. I fought for you physically, and mentally, but you wont ever see that. You wont ever see the small things i did for you, because you have always had another girl there on your side catering to you. You truly are one of the kind, and i will never change anything about you. Everything that has happened this year, made me love you more, even though it hurt me. I loved you for choosing another girl over me, and i love you for you. I am not saying i was perfect the entire time. I fucked up, hell i fucked up big time. I blame myself for the situation we are in now. But i have come to realize that, i cannot force you to love me, it has to come within you. I have never moved on to another the way you have, it was always you for me. (No if’s, no but’s, cant’s) You told me you love me less and less everyday. The truth is in true love, your love for the other person does lessen but grows. What i want you to know is that i am not giving up as you say, or trying to take the easy way out. I hope that this year showed you how i never gave up, even when you were with someone. I stayed and fought, and tried to show you why i was the one. I am not fighting because it takes two to be in a relationship. You wont see how sorry i am, or what i am trying to do to fix this because you are hurt, and will only see it your way. And that is okay. I know you love me, trust me i know. You have truly made every one of my dreams come true. The truth is, we cannot be together unless we are physically together. I broke your trust, and you broke mine. I am tried of being that constant, because then i am taken for granted. I am tried of being an option, where i have to prove my love to you. I am just tired…..
